｢tsukuribanashi ｣

Originally posted on September 2nd, 2004.

Ken hated being alone sometimes. There was no way for him to escape his thoughts, his emotions... He hated feeling, but he hated thinking most of all.

It was no wonder sometimes that Daisuke worried about him. There were days where he did his best to push him away but he always failed at that. Daisuke knew when there was something wrong and always pushed to find out what it was.

He loved and hated it, but he couldn't hate Daisuke. He would never be able to stop loving him.

It scared him sometimes—not that he would ever admit that, especially to Daisuke himself—because he never knew what to do to make things right. Lying in Daisuke's arms gave him the best feeling, but he just felt so worried that one day it would all change, that Daisuke would leave him. When he was with Daisuke he felt almost complete; the things he'd done as the Digimon Kaiser just faded away... but when he was alone it would all come back to him. It haunted both his waking thoughts and his dreams.

The dreams were the worst part. Only Daisuke could make the memories of them fade.

He both loved and hated it, but he could never hate Daisuke.

Originally posted on August 25, 2004.

"You can't do this. You're just a kid like me!" I really hadn't expected that, but the edge of the cliff had been closer than I expected and the bastard had just walked up and pushed me...

"No, I'm not just like you. If I was, I would be the one hanging off the cliff." The Kaiser looked at me with such contempt in his eyes that I would have just run off to go hide under a rock somewhere if I hadn't been hanging on to my life with my fingertips.

He bent down and grabbed the front of my shirt to haul me up towards him; my grip on the edge of the cliff lost, I lifted my feet onto the edge and clutched his wrists. One eye narrowed at me as I touched him, but I didn't let go. "What you don't seem to understand, you and those other Chosen Children..." he spat out the words as if they were a bad taste in his mouth, "...is that I am unstoppable. I have everything ready and at my disposal; my army is complete and awaiting my command. What makes you think you can stop me?"

He'd voiced everything I worried about aloud with that contemptible look on his face, and something inside me balked at his tone. "We're fighting you because we have to! Because of you, digimon could die."

He smirked. "You misheard me, brat. Why are you fighting me?" His eyes flashed with something I couldn't exactly name, but really didn't like. "Why don't you just give in to me?" I didn't know what to say. What was wrong with this guy? Why wasn't he trying to kill me already?

"Where's that fire in your eyes gone?" he hissed at me, tightening his hands in my shirt. "You look so lost. But when you talk about saving the world, they burn..." He lifted me slightly off the ground and stared into my eyes as if looking for that 'fire' I supposedly had. He'd gotten so close that I could feel his breath on my face, but before I could raise a fist to punch him he'd lowered me again. "You interest me. I don't think I'll dispose of you, yet." He stepped backwards even as he threw me sideways to the ground, looking almost casual about it. Damn, this guy was stronger than he looked. I'd have to remember that. "Guards!"

The digimon looked mean and I backed away a bit, stopping before I could get too close to the edge of the cliff. I wasn't going near that again. "What do you mean, I 'interest' you?" I asked, confused.

He just smirked at me, and I didn't like the look in his eyes. "Oh, you shall find out." Two of the digimon picked me up, one arm each, and started carrying me away.

I couldn't resist yelling back to him, "Yeah, well... Your hairstyle sucks!" God, lame. I need to work on my comebacks.